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And the Livin’ ain’t Easy [podcast]

Posted on August 31, 2013 in Podcast |

Whether it’s spring, summer, winter or fall, some days I’ve felt as though the darkness of pain would swallow me whole.



Summer living isn’t so easy with chronic pain. Whether it’s spring, summer, winter or fall, some days I’ve felt as though the darkness of pain would swallow me whole. On other days, the pain eases and nips ever so slightly. Or it retreats for a few consecutive days, and teases me with calm. My brain scrambles to recall what I did yesterday that was different from today. Did I remember to take a vitamin…or could it be the new medicine the naturalist gave me? What about the eight glasses of water that was recommended by that internet article? Just when I think I have the answer, the pain stealthily finds its way back in.


Doctors diagnosed me with Autonomic Neuropathy two years ago. The Mayo Clinic defines the condition as a nerve disorder that affects involuntary body functions, including heart rate, blood pressure and digestion. It causes damage to the autonomic nerves, which disrupts signals between the brain and the nervous system.

My symptoms include numbness, tingling, burning of the skin, weakness, severe fatigue, and a heart that races at will. I never know whether I’ll have enough energy to get through the day. There is no cure, and I have yet to find an effective treatment.


Two years ago this disease held a firm grip, and my mind and spirit were self-imprisoned. Discouragement and despair became an anchor, and the sofa was my dock. I prayed and cried…I cried out! I even purchased an expensive crypt, in preparation for the inevitable.


I share my story because I want to help you become unstuck. Taking courageous action in the face of fearful circumstances requires trusting that God will fight with you. God will fight for you.

Last fall, the Holy Spirit proclaimed to me, “Your life is not over…you have work to do!”. It said, “move” and I unstuck my body and my mind, allowing Spirit to lead me. I got up and got busy encouraging myself, through which I’m able to encourage others.


How do I get through my day? After prayer and meditation, I walk on my treadmill, I read, I recite poetry, I pray, I dance…I pray, listen to music, I talk to my children, my grandchildren…and I dance.

Lyrics, that I pull from one of these mornings, You’re going to rise up singing Then you’ll spread your wings

And you’ll take to the sky

Until that morning nothing can harm you

There’s a’nothing can harm you

With daddy and mamma standing by…

Just like David I am becoming skilled with the use of my “slingshot” against adversity. I believe that God will fight for me. Believe that He will fight with you. Trust that He will fight for you.